02.05.07-23:16
I am sitting here, in my room, alone at night..Its dark.I used to be scared of darkness, but now I'm too scared to see my reflection on the mirror infornt of me.Three little candles let me see the page of my diary.On the blue page, which smells pretty nice, I should have written good things, about you..But for the first time in my whole life, I'm crying for a boy.Maybe the nicest boy I've ever met, who's away now.Away from me in another country. I miss you. Probably more than you can imagine. I guess I'm in love with you, but you shouldn't know that. Because, actually, you could imagine how much I miss you. I miss you, as much as you miss her.I saw the things you wrote about her today.When I was angry at my dad, 'cuz he yelled at me because of my grades and he threatened me, and he made me cry. He made me cry when I was studying. He made me cry when I was thinking about you. He made me cry when I wanted to get online after studying for 6 hours by force. And when I wanted to talk to you like crazy, I wanted to hug you and kiss you, at most I wanted to hear your voice and see you, at least your picture, I saw the things you wrote for her. And now, my love, when I already have red eyes and shaking hands, my anger, sadness and most of all my jealousy double my un-willingly shaking and my crying. I'm usually not a jealous person, you know.. But somehow, it doesn't make me feel wonderful to know that you miss her and that she's your everything and that she's a great kisser and she makes you laugh.. And all of these lead me to the thought that you still love her even though you've told me that you didn't, at least not like "that" and you told me that you loved ME and you were just friends with her. I love you, isn't that weird? I still do love you. I will still hug you and kiss you like I always do. 'Cuz my jealousy didn't change a bit about my feelings of love to you.I still do miss you! You will NEVER, EVER know about my jealousy 'cuz I'm way too scared to loose you. I don't knwo if you will feel cold to me if you read this. No..I will act normal even if these three candles are my source of light, but it feels like they're my source of life...

Love;
your Good Koshka